OK, now it's five times I've needed to get dressed up. Yesterday I went to a wedding. I haven't been to one in 27 years so I didn't know what to expect.

Sadly, television has failed me. Of all the hundreds of weddings I've seen on TV, I've come to expect that something zany always happens. Not so. For instance:

When the minister asked if anyone had a reason why the marriage should not occur, did anyone run in screaming? No.

Was Jackie Chan chased across the table, knocking over the wedding cake? No.

Was someone frantically trying to distract everyone while a corpse was moved from place to place? No.

Did the bride have a baby during the ceremony? No

Did the sprinklers turn on while I was walking across the lawn? Er, ok, that actually did happen.

One thing they never show you in TV weddings is a lengthy forms signing process that happens during the ceremony. I thought the honeymoon was starting right away and the now married couple needed to go through customs before leaving.

Anyway, it was all quite interesting. It even rained 6 minutes after it ended.